YTAH's Weblog


Ah, Poetry.

Posted in humour,poetry by YTAH on September 24, 2008
Tags: , , ,

From the pit of despair
To the brink of destruction—
Progress, still.

Oh Dear God

Who isn’t there;
And doesn’t exist;
And wouldn’t care
What I did with my dick,
Or the rest of my body, or my time,
Or my vote, or my TV,
Unless it hurt somebody else;
And wouldn’t be offended
If everyone didn’t believe in him
Even if he was, or did:

Please leave me alone.

But then, I’m pretty sure
That you have better things to do,
Even if you did exist,
Than to be offended
By one non-believer’s disinterest,
Or because the world that they created
Did not revolve around them.

But sometimes I wish I did believe in you.
It’s just
Your followers
Won’t leave me in peace,
Or shut up,
Or keep to themselves.
They’re offended on your behalf.

But if you did exist, I could ask you
To tell them to give it a rest now and then,
Or ask them to keep it down.

Only, you don’t exist. So
I guess I’ll have to talk to them
And ask them to shut up myself.

But everybody’s always known:
Even a non-existent god’s
A better listener
Than people.

* * *

Paul Newman’s Out to Get Me

The guards don’t believe me,
They think I’m going crazy.
But I’m not going crazy:
I’ve seen him, he’s out there,
And he’s out there waiting to get me.

But how will he get me out?
Will it be a tunnel, or a daring escape,
Like leaping over the tall gates
In a motorcycle made for two?
Will he bring some wire-cutters
And a set of tickets for a train
The hell out of here?

Will he try to bribe the guards
With trinkets, or an autograph, perhaps?
Signed copies of The Great Escape,
Or Cool Hand Luke,
Or Somebody Up There Likes Me?

Perhaps he wants to kill me;
Or make me CEO
Of Paul Newman Enterprises—
Vice-President: Corporate Affairs.
Perhaps he’s in league with the devil
Who’s sent all his insects
To crawl around my brain.

Will I be awake when it happens,
Or will he come like a thief in the night?

Whatever happens, I’ll be ready,
For he’ll make me a new man then.

[Originally posted on my other blog, Friday 19 & Tuesday 23 September.]

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